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You know, historically, all WLW (and arguably AFAB NBLW-- though the phrase has little meaning in a historical context) were labeled "lesbians." and for that I feel I have a sort of... ancestral connection to the lesbian community. I think they have terms that are extremely useful to all queer people (I, sort of semi-secretively would identify as a stone butch, emphasis on the Stone).
And while some of the word have been exported (stone -> lithromantic/lithsexual), I feel that this need to have each label to have these extremely exclusionary phrases (someone suggested "mage and knight" as NB/diamoric alternatives to fem/butch or twink/bear, which just. makes me kind of #yikes a little. as the explanations were 'one is more fem and one is more masc'. which is just so. not very applicable to NB people on the whole.) is just so restrictive and not in the nature of LGBT community.
I have no proof but I would assume the reason twink/bear and fem/butch did not overlap or become interchangeable is because the inherent qualities of a twink, fem, bear, and butch are different! It's not just personality or sexual traits, but also physical traits which I think are... less applicable the more accepting the community becomes of diverse body types. (tbh I'm thinking of Fem Scorpia lol).
But that just doesn't quite-- in my opinion-- fit with the incredibly varied and inconsistent nature of NBs and Diamorics. See, the thing is, I think Fems/Butches and Twinks/Bears exist because gays ended up sort of paired off as such fairly commonly. But as far as I can tell I don't... see that sort of distinction in the NB community. And defining roles as "more masc, more fem" just gets... well, A) reinforces that Fems/Twinks are the "women" of the relationships as we have a Female/Male role, and B) ignores the inherent disconnect from traditional genders and understanding of sexuality that Diamorics experience.
But because I was AFAB and had the tomboy/"Proper Girl" socialization as a kid, I understand the Fem/Butch dichotomy. And I identify strongly with butches.
But I'm not a woman. I'm not even a "proper" Lesbian (I like men and other NBs! Shame on me!). But the label has meaning to me. Which makes it all so much suckier that the lesbian community (at least online) is fucking infested with TERFs, SWERFs, and every aspect of Rad Fems and Political Lesbians and unsuspecting Lib Fems who just want the Liberation Of the Women :)! Pussy Hats :)!
So anyway.
I'm whatever the fuck the next label for Stone Butch NB is.
*For this context, I'll use Diamoric as 'NB people attracted to NB people' but it also describes the inherent trait of a relationship with a NB person (incl. a binary person w/ an NB person) as being neither gay nor straight as is commonly understood.
And while some of the word have been exported (stone -> lithromantic/lithsexual), I feel that this need to have each label to have these extremely exclusionary phrases (someone suggested "mage and knight" as NB/diamoric alternatives to fem/butch or twink/bear, which just. makes me kind of #yikes a little. as the explanations were 'one is more fem and one is more masc'. which is just so. not very applicable to NB people on the whole.) is just so restrictive and not in the nature of LGBT community.
I have no proof but I would assume the reason twink/bear and fem/butch did not overlap or become interchangeable is because the inherent qualities of a twink, fem, bear, and butch are different! It's not just personality or sexual traits, but also physical traits which I think are... less applicable the more accepting the community becomes of diverse body types. (tbh I'm thinking of Fem Scorpia lol).
But that just doesn't quite-- in my opinion-- fit with the incredibly varied and inconsistent nature of NBs and Diamorics. See, the thing is, I think Fems/Butches and Twinks/Bears exist because gays ended up sort of paired off as such fairly commonly. But as far as I can tell I don't... see that sort of distinction in the NB community. And defining roles as "more masc, more fem" just gets... well, A) reinforces that Fems/Twinks are the "women" of the relationships as we have a Female/Male role, and B) ignores the inherent disconnect from traditional genders and understanding of sexuality that Diamorics experience.
But because I was AFAB and had the tomboy/"Proper Girl" socialization as a kid, I understand the Fem/Butch dichotomy. And I identify strongly with butches.
But I'm not a woman. I'm not even a "proper" Lesbian (I like men and other NBs! Shame on me!). But the label has meaning to me. Which makes it all so much suckier that the lesbian community (at least online) is fucking infested with TERFs, SWERFs, and every aspect of Rad Fems and Political Lesbians and unsuspecting Lib Fems who just want the Liberation Of the Women :)! Pussy Hats :)!
So anyway.
I'm whatever the fuck the next label for Stone Butch NB is.
*For this context, I'll use Diamoric as 'NB people attracted to NB people' but it also describes the inherent trait of a relationship with a NB person (incl. a binary person w/ an NB person) as being neither gay nor straight as is commonly understood.
